Mag's INsanity

"Ms. JAVA" Vs " Mr. Mag"

2011-04-26T14:54:00.001+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

She : I Love You, I Love You, I Love You .*with her immense beauty and desperate in her voice*
Me : Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off. * with my Rude-Dude-Type looks and Avoid-Her Types voice*.

She : But why, Don’t you love me ?

Me : Love you !!! *little villainous laugh* Bullshit , You are just a symbol of miseries, even i m not terrified as much for being caught while watching porn as much you terrified me, I will prefer to live with Dolly Bindra rather than you, You make ma life so infertile as that farms looks after harvesting over Farmville, you make me just like a retired whore, useless, worthless and even soulless. *with Red-Ass-Expressions*

She : But why only you are suffering so much, others are handling me very easily, may b you need to work little more on me.* with a cunning smile*

Me : ohhh cut this crap or else i will cut your neck, M regularly wasting ma 12-14 hrs sitting in front of you, ma eye side got increased , M feeling some piles symptoms in some of ma sensitive parts, ma appearance got even more dangerous than Albert Einstein itself and you are saying i need to focus more. I can’t understand where to focus and don’t dare to compare others with me. They may live with sucking their own ass but i can’t.

She : why are you talking so harsh ?
Me : What !! m I look harsh to you...no , not at all dear, m actually chilling from inside and even pulses getting jammed. Do you know just because of you I returned back in the midnights from office, even the street dogs got ma timing and they never take a pain to open their eyes from their sleep, I was so fucked up at time that even the watchman surrender his wallet, watch, ring and other possession to me if i roared just a bit loud. Ma landlord’s child started comparing me with all those devils that he heard in his granny fairytales and you are still saying that why m so harsh.... m not harsh...not at all .

She : Is it ma fault and why are you blaming me, I agree that you sit 14 hrs. in front of me but in that time you want 10 smoking breaks, your girlfriend called you at least 15 times and don’t know how many times your testosterone got hyper activated by seeing your female colleges.
Me : *blank*

She : Look, I know its not easy for anyone, specially for the morons like you who can forgot to take pen in the examination hall but never miss a chance a ogle at the hot examiner and say thanks to GOD to not bringing your pen because it will give you a chance to have a chit chat with her.
Me : *blank*.

She : You are doing miracles over me, How many of others learnt me as fast as you did, How many of others wrote the 200 line code in me just on third day of learning and got 700 errors. Even ma compiler send me a personal note about your historical effort .

I took a 30 seconds of break to analyses whether she is commenting or complimenting, and finally got nothing as output from ma useless mind but suddenly something strikes in the empty box of mind and created echoes....700 errors

Me : but .. *she interrupted in between before I end or I start saying anything*
She : Yeah moron !! I know you still pissed off because of those 700 errors but think how many of others have just cleared those 700 errors in 2 hrs. Don’t be so rude and pessimist that you cant hold me in your arms. you got the guts and balls in your pant and you just need to give one more try .

"Hold , Arms, guts & balls" these are some words that make me to think again on this and somewhat m convinced not because she is good orator but because...

1. Someone is praising me and this is not a customer care call that you got regularly, its rare for me.
2. I don’t have any other option because now its not all about learning JAVA but to have balls in ma pants.

Me : *smiled* nodded

But suddenly i got kick on ma chair, ma world shakes like fruit shakes in juicer, m just at the verge to hit ma computer screen, ma day dreaming got over .. SHIT...HOLY SHIT !!
Me: What the Fuck yaar, who the hell is this ?
Ashutosh : Dude !! focus on your coding, you again got 700 errors, what a consistency man, if Sehwag got this consistency than he alone is capable to beat other assholes*grinned*

FUCK OFF You and Your lame jokes, let me concentrate...... and saga of struggle again started.

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2011-04-19T22:00:00.004+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

DATE : 24-jan-2011 to 6-apr-2011
VENUE : Trivandrum , TCS training center
OBJECTS : Mag and ....*to b continued*

ROUND ONE

'You are irritating me, can you please shut your mouth' , she said
although she is not praising me but still somewhere in her mind m dominating and that was not a bad start
'yeah sure dear,why m here , just only to follow you dear' *grinned* , i replied
she looked at me with more irritation.
'friends ?' i asked
'only if you keep your mouth shut for next one hour', she added

'round one cleared, mission accomplished ',i murmured to myself
'what ?' she asked with suspicious eyes.

' ahh nothing , m ready dear' *grinned*
I dont know what makes me to use this "dear" word so frequently, but seriously m using it as like any software engineer use "Ctrl-c & Ctrl-v" in his work.M helpless.

ROUND TWO

' Hello', again i asked her on very next day

Hello, she replied with Not-again-type-looks
'whats new cooking here ? any updates over case study ? i added with more cheerfulness to make the conversation go on.

Firstly she gave me a dirty look and than shouted like a customer who shouts over customer care on being misbehaved in terms of his mobile balance 'Are u mad or what, we need to submit the documentation part on friday, only 2 more days to go, we really need to work hard, else wise we will be in a big trouble, m working on it since 9 in morning and you are coming at 2 in afternoon and asking for updates.You are sick or what.'

( wow !!! she looks so cute in anger, thin lips, deep eyes, cute face , i was totally lost in her , i was just continuously gazing on her and passing an innocent smile to her, girls mostly speak non speak but the way they speak can kill the number of morons like me, the only thing in a mind running weather today i should asked her for coffee or should i wait for weekends)

'Hello' she started waving her hands in front of ma mouth so close that i can feel the warmth and softness of it, *So Romantic*

' yeah !! tell me ,whats the updates in case study ?' i asked again with max innocence as nothing happened just 30 seconds back.

(she fell silent, suddenly sadness hijacked the innocence of her face, she sat on chair restlessly with the expression on her face that can instigate me the most.)
'hey, here are the documents for submission, i completed it last night for you only.', i don't know what makes the last three words soundless but i really wanted to say it.
Firstly looks suspicious, but as she started turning the pages one by one, her smile goes widen and simultaneously I started loosing ma senses again,
'thanxs mag thnxs alot, u are a real gem , 'she offered her hand for a shake'
'round two cleared, mission accomplished', again I murmured to ma self.
' what ?' she asked
'nothing', i added * grinned*

ROUND THREE

' hey dear' she said, (just two words and to explain how deep they penetrated deep inside ma heart was even more tougher than to explain Black-hole theory.)
(mag !! she initiated the conversation , good going mag !! congos, three cheers ), 'hey', i replied
'Just b ready at 8 pm', she said with lots of secrets hiding behind her facial expressions.
' me...!! for what ?' i asked to her
'What !! you don't know ..we are going for dinner together.....ahh actually not only we but the whole group, so you HAVE TO join us.', she replied

(I dont know why she made so much stress over HAVE TO, but i like it,she was not just only informing me but she was forcing me to come with the group or rather with her and usually girls have this kinda attitude only for the category of Some-one-specials.)

'yeah sure', I replied
'round three cleared, mission accomplished', again I murmured to ma self.
'what ?', she asked ( this time she looked eager to keep the conversation go on)
'nothing', i replied *grinned*

ROUND 4

This was the last day of our training almost everyone was sad and were feeling bad to get separated from each other but somewhere deep inside me i was very happy, i waited this day so badly because

1. Its destiny,you have to be separated with your mates one day. so Why So Serious ?
2. Internet provided you so many ways to be in touch with ur mates. so again Why So Serious ?

3. We both are going to same place again to join the company. So Why Sould I So Serious ?

I know the first two reasons were useless but even today i cant say the things straight.Altough she was coming with us to Delhi but m will not meet her for next 4 days, there was something kicking in ma mind, butterflies were playing soccer in ma stomach , something bad was happening somewhere, i dont know what but something was going wrong, i called her
'Hello, when is ur flight?', i asked
'Why ?? what happen, why r u suddenly asking about ma flight', she enquired
'Just tell me, when is flight departing ?', i asked again with more intensity in voice.
'Tomorrow morning, 6 am', she replied

(i was blank , i dont know what to say next, its already 11 in the night and i had no option to meet her)

'what happened', she inquired again
'nothing, leave it', i replied with sorrow in ma voice
'areee tell me, why u looked so sad', she asked
'nothing, just feeling bad , ma mates are leaving and we will not meet again', i replied,

( still i was unable to express her truth, i was feared somewhere inside to loose her, i was not ready to face this storm)

'there is something else, you are hiding something, tell me dude, m yor friend you can share it with me', she given me some courage by saying this.
' I think I like you, m trying ma best to avoid all this but m helpless, craze for you is growing day by day , i m not what i was earlier, i tried earlier to say you all this but never find guts but m not forcing this over you, if you dont like it its better you start avoid me' i replied with a continuity and a blank mind
*blank*, 5 second of silence over phone and she disconnected the call*
'round four incomplete, mission failed', i replied by wiping a drop of tear and put the cell down.

At YOur SERvice Ma'am : Dabba

2011-03-22T11:40:00.002+05:30

Insanity by Mag[m]:-

Statutory Warning : If you expect another spicy story than definitely this is not a post for you, This is something that is directly from ma heart to ma another heart( Ma Best friend) dedicated to his heart( his Girlfriend) who wants to live in her heart.

It is against the laws and ethics to write about your friend’s Girlfriend but I was compelled to do so because in past 2 months I heard her name so many time as Sachin never heard of Cricket in his whole life. Ohhh hold it....hold it !!! This is not a love triangle and m not one of its vertices, This is simple straight and made-for-each-other types love story.They are two personalities with almost similar features and qualities.

In fact probably I don’t like her because she is the one who reduced the counting of insane from the world by one ie. Saurabh aKa Dabba.He was an asshole …yeah I mean it….he was an asshole….srry but as an engineer I don’t know any better word to express ma deepest affection for him. He is the man who never follows any rule that is mentioned in college rule book, According to him Vodka was a thing which separates men out of boys, chocolates and popcorn were meant for children, girls were nothing more than a God’s mistake and he was unpredictable and mysterious like sunshine in newspaper….. but ALAS !!! now a days….

He drank Mountain Dew more than Vodka.
He talks about love instead of boys EYE-TONIC.
Now his biggest achievement is his girlfriend rather than lighting a cigarette in single attempt in front of a fan.
Now his favorite movie is DDLJ rather than Dil Dosti etc .

He is not that Saurabh whom we know, “bhagwan us purane saurabh ki aatma ko shanty de”.

Lets talk something about his girlfriend , I personally don’t know her but whatever I heard from his mouth , I can write another encyclopedia on her. Her name is Nikita from Mangalore who looks like an angel in Red & black. She prefer to sleep at last bench than to waste her time in studying on front row, her first priority is to assign craziest nickname to every possible living creature near by her, Even though she wants him to quit smoking but to try it once is her one of the burning desire. She is blessed with all the qualities that majority of non-sense girls rarely have.

Impact of this love story is so powerful that HP’s Mangalore campus is now known as Saurabh-Nikita campus and even I have to save Saurabh cell no as Saurabh-Nikita. People says that only opposite characters attracts but they forget the basic rule that only similar identities can be added and they are the biggest living example for that.

M writing all this not because he is ma one of the best pal or I like his changed beta version behavior in fact he was the one who criticized me most when I wrote the first story over ma blog, Today is one of the biggest day for both of us as m at the verge to make ma biggest critics as ma happy reader and he is at the the verge to propose his girlfriend globally and both of expect nothing less than YES….

WAITING…….

FOR NIKITA ONLY : we we both succeeded can I share your chocolate that you gave to saurabh very first, its still there in Saurabh’s Almiraah.

I Used SO Many colors because its Happy HOLI........

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2011-02-22T18:42:00.000+05:30

INsanity By Mag[m]:-

First day in office was not like birthday that came every year in your life , i was excited, nervous and sitting alone at the corner of the last bench of the auditorium. complete formal dress, hanky in pocket, shining shoes ,neatly shaved bloody face, a zipped mouth and a closed mind avoiding every possible insane idea, that were some of ma attributes and i was trying at ma best to ignore every probability of any kinda mis-happening here. i just wanna be lost in crowd but i guess..... Nature and Signature cant be changed so easily.

Mouth was wide open as like i was trying to eat the whole burger in a single bite, eyes were trying to pop up from their cave, all ma 5 senses gone on hibernation, violins were ready to show their ability, dead silent auditorium was suddenly converted into some scenic beauty of Paris as Miss Pink directly from heaven entered in auditorium as well as deep in ma heart . Small pink Bindi on forehead, round pink ear rings, and a pink suit was generating the tsunami of love waves inside ma mind, her Broad bangles and soft pink glossy lips compelled me to declare her as the awesom-ist amongst other 210 opposite gender trainees of the campus. She looked at back may be on me or poll / painting / Tata logo/Lights besides me and passed a smile and chosen to sit in first row and never looked back for entire session for her biggest fan of the day on last row but she had already make ma day and another love story had already started from the two opposite corners of the auditorium. Lucknow was ready to make a collaboration with Hyderabad.

In the same evening ma face book acc. was ready to introduce a new creature to the world and it was none other than her would be soul-mate ...

Name : Mag
Age : 7256700000 seconds
Fav color : pink
Fav Band : pink Floyd
Fav City : Pink city ( Jaipur)
Fav animal : Pink Panther
Fav song : Gulabi aankhein jo teri dekhi

NEXT DAY :-

I bought a new PINK shirt to gave company to her and ready with all ma best assets , today we were having the orientation program to learn companies code of conduct but practically m learning the concepts of triangle of Algebra. I was continuously gazing at Miss pink , Miss Pink was focusing on HR and unfortunately HR was gazing at me. * bad time and place to learn algebra* but its already too late for me and when i realized it i found 4 things :
1. a red face of HR
2. 400 female and 620 male eyes penetrating me
3. HR's pointed finger over me
4. face of 510 morons ready to put pressure on their 37 muscles to laugh hard at me.
This devil would definitely eat me without even asking for salt...

HR: Whats your name gentleman.
Me: M...m...Mag
HR: from which Recruiting Branch ?
Me: Bangalore
HR : ummm *deep breath* why are you wearing this pink shirt ?

I was fell shocked by hearing pink shirt rather than his question, did he knew about ma one sided still progressive love story, did he knew ma intentions to wear pink, did he already knew Miss Pink, did i found a villain like as every Bollywood love story had, should i confess in front of him or rather in front of these 510 morons and a camera which was going to make available this recording to the rest of 1.87 laks employees of this company. Bad idea...totally a bad idea.

Me: just like that only.
HR: Dont you know that pink 1 was banned for boys, its a symbol of GAY. * a giants laugh in the auditorium and initiated by Miss pink*.

Its time to consult with local Love-Gurus as they said " If you want to impress a girl first be different from others and she should recognize this change" and i stepped ahead to achieve ma mile stone. When ma batch mates were rubbing their asses with Mainframe and SAP coding i was busy with ma crash course on" how to learn telagu in 30 days", decided to climb those fucking 94 steps on hill to reach ma office to saw her again in the night. ma 8 hrs office timings converted into 15 hrs, i was there on each path waiting for her which she can possibly follow,i became the most well known face for security guards and a disaster for coffee machine. Finally i decided to mail her.... mail her in telagu, and than after long days of waiting , sleepless nights and a beer bar and ma inbox is still waiting for that name.....

If u stand on mid of India you will find Lucknow towards north pole and Hyderabad towards south pole and as per newton's law opposite polls always attract each other, but now struggling against the theory, Newton cheated over me. Screw up with you man....

PS: This post is dedicated to the one who have a face of angels but a heart of devils.... and thanks to NIKITA to break ma blogger's block

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2010-12-29T16:45:00.000+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

People said "no one is perfect in this world" than you every one is still running behind the perfection. Personally m not interested intaking any resolution but i cant deny with present trend. After so much youth survey I came to a decision that following are some of the burning resolutions in India and have a look at them.....

1. Avoid sincerity as much as u can because mistakes make a man to judge the world in a better way, and you would not be able to realize the pain of others fall than why learn from others mistake, make your own.

2. Do regular exercise please because we humans are the best creatures of the God but our ass is not, it needs your help, so for the sake of your ass please do exercise regularly.

3. Laziness is always an emperor’s cup-of-tea. Lions always rests for the two third of his life and only spends one third for hunting. If hard work is the key to success than monkeys should be the kings of the forests not the LIONs.

4. Study less and think more because human Mind is a unique machine, as much you use it, better performance you get it and as less you study, as much you use it to get over the exams. Always remember RUN-TIME ideas show your real capability than the predefined PROCEDURAL-IDEAS.

5.“Alcohol is not the solution of any problem” by Swami Vivekananda but Vijay Malya said “It helpful in forgetting the questions” so what you want to do, follow the legacy of 19^th centuries swami or 21^st centuries real geek. So Live life King Size and show a big middle finger to all the problems.

6. Break at least one traffic rule in a day it develop the guts and balls in you. Because manhood is a thing which you can not learn in lecture hall

7. Screw up with the daily soaps on TV because we can not justify which is bigger crap Big-Boss, Raki-ka-insaaf or Balaji enterprises.So just love to hate it at all.

8. Bath everyday, shave alternately and cut your nails after every two days, proper tucked in shirt, hanky in pocket and no experiments with your hair style Because Girlfriends is not a cake for rough-&-tough and rude dudes.

9. Quit the term “quit smoking” because without smoking drinking alcohol is useless and more of that what about the style of Ajay Devgan and Keanu reeves.

10. Never make New Year's resolutions again. Only losers bound themselves in constraints. Achievers never wait for a day to what to do or what not.

HAPPY NEW DECADE

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LOve YoU Mag[m]

2010-12-12T16:10:00.001+05:30

This is Mag's iNsanity speaking this time

Mag’s Insanity….that was the name that you have given to me, You hold ma hand when there was no one with me and m at the verge to b lost in the infinity, u loved me and make me to reach at the place where now worlds top search engines like GOOGLE is recognizing ma presence.

You sacrificed your bloody exams to write stories for me, you comprises your friend circle to support ma F word lingo, you applied your brain for ma success (I know this is practically impossible for a zero brain boy but at least u tried it for me) you have done everything what a boy will do for its girlfriend.

Its your birthday today and m so helpless to even wish you and say thnxs for everything, but one thing I assure you that whenever u want someone to share your sorrow , to celebrate your happiness, to get away from your loneliness, to beat the insanity …than m always here for you.

You always have a great place in ma home and heart, whole www.magsinsanity.com with its 91 readers , 29 stories, 173 links, 33 photos and 247 comments will always warm welcome you. You are just not a writer for me you are ma friend, ma mate, ma soul, ma better half.

This post is for Mag[m] on behalf of his beloved blog Mag’s Insanity, I cant do anything more than this, but whatever I have mentioned here just came from the core ma heart, LOVE you Mag and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MAG[m]

BY:-

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2010-12-09T13:39:00.001+05:30

INsanity By Mag[m]:-

First time I am struggling to write something on paper apart from my exams. I am a normal engineering graduate from some non blue-blodded-college and belongs to the family where still wearing the low waist jeans is a crime, having a long hair will put you in the category of loafers and watching the late night English movies will make you more suspicious than the porn star itself.

With lots of struggle and miracles somehow I managed to complete the degree and fortunately got the 2 jobs offers from two software giants like TCS and Dell (hey hey…. Don’t think me as an extraordinary-brilliant jerk because I will not allow anyone to play with ma repo, its just simply means that sometimes the business tycoons like RATAN TATA and Michael Dell also commit mistakes).

So on a very fine day as sun rises at 5 in morning I too open ma eyes after sleep but a little late at 10 and before ma father say to me anything they first gave me a dirty look….

Fat: What you want to do now ?

Me: *yawning* I will prefer to brush ma teeth first before having anything.

Fat: *gave me another dirty look* I am talking about your life, what r u planning for your future?

Me: ohhh ….. Actually I want to b a writer.

2 minutes of deadly silence and than SLAP!!! The complete silence is shattered in a moment .Usually I never eat anything till I brush but if it’s a slap I don’t mind it. *sad*. Whole day I tried myself away from ma Dad’s eye to avoid another face-off rather to avoid another slap. But according to the Indian constitution your elder brother also has a right to make a CONGRESS –LOGO over your bloody mouth.

BRO:- Hows your studies going ? You should prepare yourself for the upcoming corporate training.

Me: That is worthless *busy with my mobile tweets*

BRO: *puzzled* Are you nuts , you don’t know the competition in outer world. You are going to meet some real geeks .

Me: GEEKS *laughed* we have a batch f 400 illiterate engineers, who rubbed their ass for complete 4 years to be an electronics engineer and now going to work with a software firm and you said them geeks *a giant laugh*. BTW m interested to be a writer.

(I already guessed the another upcoming slap on my fucking face so I kept my mobile sideways, eyes are down, no facial expression and sit like a typical Mom’s boy to face the another disaster )

BRO: U will understand soon, ok ok get ready for the wedding party , we have to be their at 8PM ( I only noticed two things 1. He is in good mood 2.why he so focused on 8PM) *grinned*

I packed myself in a dress and reached at destination and sonly found myself more interested in sitting in a corner with a coffee than a wedding ceremony. I mean the food is messy, no hot chick or even satisfactory chick in half KM of radius, the DJ was not playing “minni badnaam” or “Sheila ki jawani” and ma mom kept on offering me the ice creams more fantasized by their color rather than taste.

Its so much relief to return to the bed after suffering from humiliating wedding which can be the most memorable for someone. I switched off the light , made the fan to rotate a little slow and laost with Sheila and munni while gazing towards the ceiling without any motive.

(Next day again I got up at 10 and again my father gave me a dirty look)

Fa: so what will you choose ? ( even I don’t know why he always ask me the question like this).

Me: in whom ? *yawning*

Fa: *another dirty look* This boy is so useless and irresponsible (looking towards ma mom) you didn't even decided it yet, i thought you was thinking over it whole night after yesterdays incident.

Me: ohhhh that last night incidence…. Actually i thought alot but finally I decided that Sheila is better than munni.

(Again a 2 minutes of silence and you already know what happened next)

Say NO to GIRls... ISSued In PUBlic INTrest

2010-12-04T19:06:00.000+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

Who said this rape can be attempted only on women/girls/female orgasm , men can also be the victim of that, to enter the wrong pole in the wrong hole will damage pole and hole both. Than why this partiality happened always with hole….. srry pole.

From past three days m trying to connect myself with every possible female shown over my face book , orkut , gmail , yahoo, twitter, zorpia and blah blah….and every time I felt like raped over the social networking in front of trillions of people, I cant even find a space to hide ma bloody face *angry* but people are still interested in watching “Na aana is desh lado” and discussing how we men crushed the women and made this community a men-dominating society. Here m just sharing the average response that I got mostly when I ping those red-ass-sucking-girls……

Me: How are you?

She: I am always fine. For heaven's sake, this is a bloody website. Even if I am not fine, you can't see me or do anything about it. So never mind that and uselessly don’t put a pressure on your small brain it will burst.

Me: What do you do?

She: Well, what do you think? Of course I am not selling pickles. I am a student and I study. I am moving onto my Master education in a few months and there is absolutely no need for you to know what program or course I applied for. So, why do you even care? Are you gonna pay for my education? Sure, you can pay for my undergrad at Waterloo for four years which is approximately $68, 000. If you still got some money left... you can also pay for my beauty salon and shopping.

Me: Who is in your family?

She: Are you gonna marry me? No right? So why do you care who is in my family? Don’t ask me stuff like if I have a brother or a sister or how old are they. No, you can’t be friends with my brother and yes he will beat you up if you get near me. And sister, no I wouldn’t hook her up with you or anybody else for that fact. if I had one that is, but I DONT! It is completely none of your business.

Me: Where do you live?

She: Okay, get real! I am in UK! For those of you who don’t know where Glasgow is: Log onto www.yahoo.com Click on Yahoo Maps. Click on Directions. Put in your address and put the city of Glasgow and you can spend the rest of your life figuring out where I live in UK!

Me: Do you have a boyfriend?

She: NO NO NO !! I don’t want one. I am not looking for one. Not now, not later! In fact, I wanna be a NUN and NEVER GET MARRIED. Men are Stupid! I love being single, which means I don’t even have to share my popcorn with anybody while watching a movie. That is why my pants have started to feel a little tighter lately. So, don’t even try. You will never ever pass my list of a “qualified boyfriend.” :)

Me: Tell me a bit about yourself.

She: If you EVER ask me that question, I swear to god I’ll box you in the face. What the hell do you think is a profile for ? What else do you think is the purpose of it, moron? These questions and answers tell you a lot about me. Read below to find out my fav movies, music, books and TV shows. That’s all you need to know about me! To understand me, the best philosophers would have to rise from their coffins beneath the earth to discover me.

I hope that answers all your questions. Thank you very much. ONE MORE THING, and next time If you scrap me without reading my profile, I will block you, forget that you will ever get a reply.

AND HER PROFILE SAYS:-

1. If you can't handle my attitude, don't send me a friend request.
2. If you don't have anything meaningful to say, do not scrap me.
3. Do not ask for my msn if you don't know me well enough to be friends.
4. If you're gonna ask for my number, cross out this window right now.
5. If you want cam chat, you are definitely in a wrong profile because I don't put myself in a display box with anyone.
6. If you're gonna hit on me, all your gonna get is a BIG 'n' MASSIVE "NO!"

I am committed to RanVijay Singh (The MTV VJ).

Love you.

Whhhooo what the fuck is this, Is that a dream, or I just need to consult a doctor. But never mind neither she was a Indian girl who should show some simplicity or innocence nor I m the typical guy who learn something from his mistakes and never ping to an unknown girl next time but must pray that “Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo”

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WhY THey SHit

2010-11-28T15:54:00.000+05:30

If you are a blogger than you must know how much is this hard to come up with something new over your blog every time except if you are not in category of those extra-creative-fucking-assholes , but if you are just a reader and found reading newspaper more worthily than a blog than this is not a place for u and just Go To Hell,

Many of my readers took me as a crap, nonsense, insane and a shitty blogger who can never write something worthily but first of all i must say that ........ u are right and secondly if i start to write something influencing, motivating and non-shitty than who will read Shakespeare LOL !!! But ...

After applying all ma available mind i found some reasons that why anyone blog.

1. Because they like to blog. They just have habit of writing in-spite of the fact what they are writing.

2. Because they want their readers to feel like fucked up every time they open their blog.

3. Because they want to sharpen their writing skills so that one day they can write something like “ Munni Badnaam” or “Sheila ki jawani”.

4. Because they don’t have any girlfriend and not even any kind female gender in life, they are like frustrated-fisherman.

5. After the success of sound and air pollution they want to spread Literature-Pollution.

6. Because crazy sites like twitter, facebook doesn’t allow them to write more than 140 words.

7. Because Amitabh Bachhan , Gul panag and many more also used to write blogs.

8. Because they want to do P.hD over blogging.

9. Because they are 21 century teenager so they want to shit globally by using technology.

10. To use F-Word in reality is called as abusive word but on blog its called as their writing style.

11. To improve their typing speed.

12. Just an effort to improve their English from which they were suffering from last 2 decades and going to suffer almost next 2 decades.

13. Because they hardly write anything in exams so they throw their frustration on their blogs.

14. So that they can brag in outer world and put themselves in a category of Bullshit-Creative-Creature.

15. They read many of Newton’s insane theories now its time for revenge and for world to read their insane theories.

16. When the stories like CID can b run so successfully than why not theirs.

17. Because if you don’t blog others will think you as a lame and ~~impotent~~ incapable.

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14 WHY & No REAsons

2010-11-11T14:48:00.000+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

BADLUCK…… it is not just the opposite of good luck , it is damn fucking insane world which can make your life worst than hell and can compel you to suffer like anything. People says GOD is everywhere but I said BADLUCK is everywhere, it is something like “Badluck k haath kanoon se bhi lambe hai… ha ha haw haw”. It has a similar effect that joint has after whisky… crazy, insane and yes dangerous too. I just want to share some general phenomenon of badluck…..

1 The queue you have left must move faster than one you are in.

2 Whenever there is grease in your hands your nose starts to itch more terribly.

3 You will meet the busy traffic signals most when you are in hurry.

4 Probability of meeting a known person is high when you are with someone whom you are not supposed to be.

5 When dialing a wrong number it will never be engaged.

6 During exams everything in the world becomes interesting except reading, even watching a wall.

7 A coin dropped down will attain the most unreachable corner possible.

8 Whatever you left in syllabus to study will definitely come in the exams.

9 Not even a single ATM will work when you are on outing with your girlfriend and running out of money.

10 when you have to make an important call, your network always sucks you.

11 A TV program must have some hot & sizzling scenes when you are watching it with someone whom u are not supposed to be at that time.

12 There must always some scary sounds you hear when you are alone at night in your home with a power cut.

13 Teacher must surely check the home work when you are running out of it.

14 Class rooms are the best sleeping place in the world unless the fact u slept whole night before.

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GOD vs Me

2010-10-13T13:44:00.001+05:30

INsanity by mag[m]:-

Many of us always have a desire to be like a superhero and having a girlfriend like Kristen Stewart and even they know that these are just far from impossible. There is always some things that makes no sense but still they have a special place in your heart. I know u don’t agree with me that’s why there are always two kind of people in this world, first one who lives their life KING-SIZE and the second one who used to live their life DICK-SIZE. I choose the first one you can choose yours and the thing which is close to ma heart is ma conversation with GOD.

Me: Whats your name ?

G: GOD from heaven *head up in proud and heaviness in voice*

Me: m not asking about your community dude, whats your name ?*little irritation*

G: I don’t have any, you people just call me with this name, actually m the designer of this universe *again proud*

Me: How do I believe, do u have any proof *grinned*

G: Are u mentally disabled or something else, You are asking GOD for proof *strange*…. Ok u can ask anything to me about that.

Me: Do you have an Engineers degree.

G: No

Me: Do you know C, C++, Java , Oracle, DBMS.

G: *blank*

Me: can you work over Linux, windows, mackintosh ??

G: *blank*

Me: what a bullshit is that, u neither have a degree nor knowledge and claming yourself as a designer, damn this Corruption*anger*. I spend 16+ years to b a software designer.

G: Whats this software and what is its use ?

Me: You have different GOD’s for everything like air god, water god, fire god , But we can simply manage all this just by a man made software. It is easy to use and even you can consult giants like Microsoft , google for your own software for heaven.

G: but it will spread unemployment amongst GOD.

Me: *grinned*

G: Still we are best, humans are existing on earth just because of us, we are behind their birth.

Me: ohhh really and I always thought it is a mutual effort of a man and women at night which always result as a birth of new life *grinned*

G: But I can decide when, where and how a new life will begin.

Me: so what…. I can tell you when will it end. *proud*

G: how ? *confused*

Me: Try Facebook’s DEATH CLOCK application. BTW we can create GOD too.

G: ohhh really like as..??

Me: RAJNIKANTH, he can do anything which is still looks impossible to you. It’s a 21 century dude and now we are better than you.

G: *crap* we can make the things happen.

Me: and we know why things happen. We have an explanation for almost everything. Even we have an explanation for your existence, you are here because us only.

G: This is crap, u cant say like that….

Me: yaaa I can say… ok just tell me than why all the traces of your existence found only on earth and not on mars , moon or any other planet.

G: *blank*

G: But still population explosion , corruption will never let u be better.

Me: u are blaming us for population explosion *bullshit* Do you know every other country have GOD’s population in thousands only but when it comes to INDIA, it is 3.8 billion *thnxs to encyclopedia and google* and we are just following your trend .

G: leave it dude, lets talk about something light , whats ur name ?

Me: M an Indian by birth and Blogger by choice.*proud again*

G: but how do I believe?

Me: you can read it on magsinsanity.com BTW for that you need to have net connection *poor guy* , still u need to learn a lot from us *grinned*

G: Will you work for me ?

Me: * surprised cum shocked* what….!!! what will I do for you ?

G: You know about softwares, technologies , blogging and all, You are talented , mind blowing and simply a genius. Work for me and I will pay you whatever you want.

Me: I never heard these three world along with ma name but its time to revise others dictionary and add me as a synonym of these three words. Now m a GOD certified genius

But whats ma package and incentives ?

G: what you want ?

Me: ummm nothing much just some billions, small island to live, an ocean of beer and one hot chick from heaven.

G: Done

suddenly I was kicked on ma ass and a bucket of water poured over me, I jumped in a reaction and realises that was just a dream , there is no billions, island, beer and hot chick waiting for me in reality, and most painful is that no more genius word for me.

Me: Is that a way to wake up someone even when he is living most awesome days of his life .

Roomey: dude its your interview today.

Me: huh……

I just smiled little and gave a whatever type look , I got ready for ma call and during the whole interview instead of software I just remembered that GOD called me a genius and irony was that I got the job.

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2010-09-29T10:05:00.002+05:30

INsanity By Mag :- Manish Verma

I always thought that there are only two kinds of peoples in the INDIA, North Indian and South Indian, than i met the third kind “ THE Orissa Guys”. They are having like pentium-1 inbuilt in their brain..... so slow, non sense in fact total worthless . BTW This is not about any racial discriminatory action and if u found anything like that than just go to hell man, I cant help u , this is all about ma Kerala trip.

I started ma journey at 5 in evening and m fully loaded with ma electronics gadgets( that contains only mobile and ipod *sad*) and a packet of cigarette .The very first thing I always used to do at platform is to check the reservation chart for any female in a group of 16-25 travelling with me and as always no one belonged to that category. The smallest female was of 27 years of age but interesting part was that her name mentioned with “miss” , that provokes me think again about ma age criterion. Should i increase the bar , should i decide it after seeing her, 16 years is too younger to me should i alter the criterion to 18-27..... too many question and a desire of another face off. Well train started and i settled on ma seat with ma broken heart.... railways cheated over me, they played with ma feelings , they printed mrs.27 as miss 27 on the chart......how can b they so rude, don’t they have heart and feelings, don’t they ever have any desire for females, y don’t they devide trains according to age and relationship status. I need some nicotine or caffeine or anything to make me calm down, I searched for ma cigarette packet and WTF....!! only two*bad luck again* i rushed towards the gate and lit it , here i met someone....An Orissa Guy

OG: anna mada kuladi....

Me: *blank* ( what the fuck he is saying) I know only Hindi and sometimes English too.

OG: anna mada kuladi. *shouted almost*

Me: *blank*( just Fuck off.... let me smoke ma cigarette)

Suddenly someone put a hand over me and i turned in a reflection ....its TT , we were caught in offence of smoking in the train , OG started negotiating in his own language and only numbers are understand by me, First time in life i loved the mathematical numbers , we made a settlement of 100 bucks each, and after that i came to know that the TT was too from Orissa and this guy was actually asking me about the position of TT

OG: Y didn’t u replied me ?

ME: ohhhh so u know English..... than y the hell was u shouting in some aliens language.*angry*

OG: because U look like a south Indian *giggles*

ME: (Fuch off) *blank*

OG: Y r u so sad dude , its the matter of only about 100 bucks.

ME: ohh really *irritated*.... i have only two cigarette and that fucking TT ... if he wanted to charge me a penalty than y couldn't he wait to let me smoke first.... now i have only one golden stick in ma pocket.

OG: so where r u from ?

ME: UP *unexpected* Y so ?

OG: I knew that ( his eyes shining like he guessed correctly that where the OSAMA BIN LADEN was) u north Indians cant even handles the lightest situations.... u r like such a morons.

ME: ( This is the limit , i cant hear anyone to criticize us specially by this “anna mada kulide” guy.... i have to answer...) * i enlighten ma last cigarette and started smoking again* Only the north Indians can do this just after the penalty. *proud*

I reached the cochin at 5 in morning and ma train was parked in between two trains , i was surprised where the platform was but.... janta..... they didn’t even care about that, they made their way to platform via railway line. So who m i to broke the lines , i too followed the crowd........ i called ma frnd to pick me up..... called once , twice, thrice.....almost 30^th time but every time no reply..... WTF is this ,who made this creature like GF’s , he must talked to his GF late night and now sleeping like KUMBHKARNA. 70% infact 90% boyz efficiency was reduced by girls , they convert them like a puppet who can talk to them, Admire them but cant do any other social activity but i realized its not his fault neither his GF's Fault, main victim is ORISSA, he is too from there.

I caught an auto for rest of ma journey and I didnt even noticed that ma other two co-passenger were two hot chicks, m so fucked up that hardly gave a look to them. I don’t want any more surprises, i just want to arrive at destination as soon as possible but this auto wallah.... i thought he is the relative of Michael schumacher. He was driving his auto (made in 1948) at the speed of at least 70-80 kmh and was busy with his mobile on the other hand, he used to turn the auto like anything. Many time ma hand touched the hot chicks hand and some of her sensitive part of the body. But somehow i managed to reached at destination before she filed any case of sexual harassment against me and finally i asked the most instigating question to the auto wallah....

Me: Where are u from ?

AW: Orissa....

Other INsane stories:-
Dying To B Alive Again
MAG-NIK....still more to b revealed
This Time Think Twice

INsane Emotional Atyachaar

DYing To b AlivE AgaIN

2010-09-15T20:50:00.000+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

10 years back when I was in 8^th standard , Life looks so simple and interesting to me. Donald duck, Shahrukh khan, Aladeen are ma some of the idols and i want to b a Cricketer, Pilot, Actor, politician in ma life. Ma all time favourite personalities are Timon & Pumbaa, Tom & Jerry, Scooby doo and school’s play ground is the most wonderful place in the world for me.

M living the most wonderful days of ma life but suddenly one day we have a new admission in our class and its a BIJLI ( yaaa it was her name and I know it was not a promising name but who the hell I m to talk in her family matter ) this made the competition for boys .5 % less , now we have a one more eye capturing element in our class , the 6 hours school timing looks so short and world war three started amongst the boys to sit behind her and class performance was at its all time low level.

I realised that sometimes being dumb at a moment can so worthily for u, she entered in the class and looked all around than came and sit next to me and her school bag touched me first time, it felt same as that Neel Armstrong felt after touching moon to very first time, I even cant imagine her in ma best dream ever to sit in 5 mt radius of mine, but this time it was the truth. For sure It was not me or ma personality, or smartness or anything in me that provoked her for this decision in fact it was others drool mouth that made her to sit next to me and feel safe, This made me the biggest villain of the class and every boy wanted to kill me for sure but who care when the cutest girl of class sited next to u.

Me: Whats ur name ? *with violin sounds in background*

She : Bijli

I Lost so much in tha name and in violin sound that I didn’t realize once that m in a class and someone was asking for ma name and I just replied with a speed faster than real Bijli.

Me: Bijli

But I realised some weirdness in the voice , her sweetness was washed out, I paused the violins sound and put bijli on hold for sometime and concentrated on voice again and aahhh it was not her , it was ma teacher.

Tch: What….!! Bijli , but this sounds a female name.

Me: its Manish

Tch: *What a crap*…. If u r Bijli than who is Manish and if u r Manish than y u said Bijli.

Me: *I need some intelligent & witty answer here to save me and after applying all ma available mind i finally found it* Madam its Manish Bijli Verma.

I felt same as Shahrukh Kahan felt in Mohabbtein after saying his full as “Raj Aryan Malhotra” to Amitabh Bachhan but this not Mohabbatein and neither ma teacher is Amitabh Bachhan and nor m a Shah Rukh Khan, everyone in ma class except me was kept on laughing an laughing, even Bijli was laughing hardly on me. She has broken ma heart. I was in this condition just because of her and now she was laughing on ma name or may be on her own name.I was punished and I had to spend a complete one hour standing outside the class. That was the shortest love story and quickest break-up ever know, all ma dream shattered in just a moment.

That day I felt so hurt. She broked ma heart and m started dying to live again, I really hate Bijli, and that day I decided to b an Engineer , an Electronics engineer , so that whenever I felt ditched by Bijli i can take ma revenge with her. And now I can play with her, cut her, deviate her, all I can say that now I can rule over Bijli…..he he ha ha haw haw haw

I know u feel so sucked after reading this but all I can only say that HAPPY ENGINEERS DAY

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2010-09-13T04:05:00.000+05:30

Insanity by Mag[m] :-

I know that only negligible percent peoples will b interested in reading any post that describes man to man or female to female fellowship and as I think nothing is bad in that , It’s a normal human tendency except u r not a gay…. This time I have something special to b portrayed and I don’t believe that m doing this , it can b more disastrous for me than Hiroshima and Nagasaki had after the atom bomb explosion, but I have to keep ma promise, promise that was the worst in all that I had made in past a week. M jotting here something that have only 2 consequences that either it will ruin ma Blogging career forever or can show me some flying colours in near by future. M dedicating this post to ma fellow Blogger NIKITA from delhi but still m looking for some least probable possibilities and reasons for this post…

1. May b she was impressed by ma post and I will b able to get her ready for a DATE.

2. I m kind of Gentleman who always stick to his promise specially if the girl is on other side.

3. We r so different in nature, signature and architecture but still I found she is a real angel that can change me , ma blog and everything bad in me. She can change Mag into Manish and INSANE into a Sane.

Off course the first one is ma all time favourite desire and to b loyal I thought about it at least millions sorry zillions of time that someday someone special will notice something special and unnoticed in me that was always liable to b noticed but unfortunately unnoticed by all ( need not to mention that m talking about female community only because m not a GAY..!! ) M geographically 2061 km apart from her but still can plan a coffee at CCD with her than a lunch than after a movie than roaming in any park than disc and hang out high with a perfect night out …this is something called as a Perfect Date and you can add spices in the plans by your own according to your taste like seats offered must b at the corner of the theatre, that day CCD will only have couples as a customer , Park would b a lovers point, and we have a Candle light dinner. But don’t add salt in last to things because m ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT and too much spices is not good for health.

What to say about ma second point, actually I devoted maximum of time to think some thing strong , ironical, filmy, witty in support of it but finally found nothing. I always think of ma self a typical SRK who always have a perfect answer when it is concerned about his GF, and at last i found that whatever I have written in point 2 was totally a imaginary stuff that has no relation with any live or dead persons specially like me and it can b counted as rubbish.

Well about third point what can I say just our blogs and gtalk status can describe the whole story .This is the best way I ever discovered to make a image about some one. I know 99.999 % times these status are copy pasted from some one liners site because an intelligent one never wastes his time on such crap things, a dumb one will always use ‘available’ status and those who belongs to none of them will use this ‘busy ‘status’ ( oposss srry for wrong category but no polling in India includes only 2 options) but still to choose any particular one liner among thousand will show your brainwaves. Her status suggests “Books are the real friends of a human. It should b kept near your heart” and mine suggests “I would not have been in this condition if bomb had fallen on Newtons head instead of apple”. She believes “One day someone special walked in your life and u realize why it will not worked with anyone else” and I believes that “My Virginity is a gift to my wife, so always ready with the proof of your marriage”. Nothing matches in above lines except colour of the lines but no matter how we different are , how we take each other but the thing that only matters is, I completed ma promise and see has something divine in her that made me to do that. You are awesome and god will always bless you.

PS: Don’t kill me for this non sentimental, partially true, unromantic wired post and if u don’t like it than don’t read afterward !!! ……ohhh You are still reading ??….. So u liked it.... so can I ask u something .....

Why don’t u offer me a coffee at your place for this great effort of mine .
Do you really don’t like INDI-FLIRT tag over forum?
Its almost 3’o’ clock in the night and m getting bored so Can I call u ??

Other liked Insanity :-

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INsane Emotional Atyachaar
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tech-NO-logy ..... SUCKS or ROCKS

2010-08-25T02:56:00.000+05:30

INsanity by Mag[m]-

Technology is what that makes a human lazy , It is jamming humans nerves day by day. Don’t u believe me than y the hell invention of finger bowl after meal takes place, what toilet paper is doing in this world , y deodorants exists when u can bath, y we use supplements to have 8-packs like AAMIR KHAN , y we have remote controls for most of our electronic gadgets, whats a need of Locks when it cant stop a thief from stealing and a honest man will never do anything like to steal, y the market for automatic goods making a boom in stock exchange.

I never understand what the meaning of technology, if it is meant for better performance than y we made BEERS to make us a non performer ,if it is for time saving than y we blog just to killing time of our and others, if it is for advancement than y we still using a red rose to propose a girl. Some things are in this world that cant be explained in words. If we take in other way sometimes it hides our prime motive like some one who ever discovered cow's milk , do u know what he exactly want to do with cow.

Well this post is not all what technology meant for , it is just to suggest some more advancement in it that is badly required by youth ( ya this time I can lead youth becoz whatever m going to suggest will definitely attract them), when I heard about this competition I simply forwarded a msg to all ma engineering mates that “ if they have some technology that can perform his/her one work than what work they avoid most” And I got worst replies than expected. Lets see what engineers (that themselves taken as Technology Maker) want from technology….

Yaa a machine that can pause timings when u r getting late for office in the morning and ur eyes still wants a 10 min more sleep. It has a feature to forward ur time when u r attending a lecture or office meeting and also has a feature to reduce call duration for out going call.

Many of them takes bathing as one of the most boring work to do. Deodorants can be a alternate option for this but kabhi kabhi khud ki atma bhi dhikkarne lagti hai ki ab to naha lo yaar , so that we need something that can provide us a feeling of wetness ,freshness and off course cleanliness too.

Craziest demand is of a reading chip that will store all ur reading material and u can easily connect it with ur mind. The Biggest dream of today’s youth is “ no more funny elements like studies” . so they want something that have at least 5 lakh GB storage capacity with wikipedia stored in its internal memory and most most most importantly that should not be detected by any living or dead man, machine, process.

Even voice command needs from a human to open his mouth and use its 398 cells to speaks, so the demand is for some thing that can sense human expression and can perform the task according to that.

Need something that can provide muscles like Sylvester Stallone and skin like Robert Pattinson for men and for girls we need…. Ahhh any pimple cream and a little common sense just in a week

This one is a blunder of all. As the bomb was invented to destroy all the invention. I (yes this time I want it) want something that will destroy everything . What all I have to do in life just to eat sleep and blog ( yaa can never miss to blog). No tension for money , work , studies, responsibilities, rights and for anything.

List will go long but blogspot and HP doesn’t allow me too much space for all this crap , so m winding up ma not-so-happening list of upcoming technologies and hope HP will definitely consider ma list as an urgent requirement and will never ask to a blogger about technology requirement. Its already a midnight and I really need a tea break…. Ahhh crap can anybody offer me a tea I don’t want to move from here J

Other INsane posts are :

This Time THINK TWICE

INsane Emotional Atyachaar

ONE WORD.... just a one word

BEER with me

This Time THINK-TWICE

2010-08-09T03:22:00.000+05:30

Insanity by Mag[m]:-

Me: Hello

He: What the fuck do u think of urself ??

Me: (what a starting ) Mag *innocent*

He: Don’t b over smart,u ass hole.

Me: mind ur damn tounge (yaa damn…but still far from the category of f-word)

He: Y the hell u call her ?

Me: her..??? *confused* who ??

He: hey u fucker dont play pranks with me. What do u want from her??

Me: same as that every fucker wants from a girl …!!! *grinned*

He: don’t call her again, m warning u.

Me: r u kind of alien...!! or u born without any human sperms, don’t u understand that m asking for something….. which girl r u talking about ?

He: whom u talked last night .

Me: does she grown up without any name ?? I called to customer care last night also, r u talking about her than told her to leave her job and b a parasite on u.

He: m talking about shruti. Y u called her ??

Me: I never called her ( just only once…naahh by twice….ohhh crap I did it so many times but who the fuck he is to instruct me) BTW who r u ??

He: m UMANG and m her x-boy-friend.

Me: u r her X and m her P.

He: what the crap do u mean.

Me: I know this will go above ur head. A boy born without sperms is mentally challenged too. P means present boy friend.

He: we had enjoyed 5 year this relationship.

Me: ( y he stressed so much on word “ enjoyed” , this man really makes me jealous I just really wanna kick his ass from deepest of ma heart) Even Indian government never last longer than 5 years. Ur time is over.

He: u mis guided her.

Me: m I look like politician or bollywood’s vilan, who will misguide her.

He: u will have to face a trouble for it.

Me: just FUCK-OFF. *disconnected*

Lots of question in mind…. What the hell happened in last 2 min , did I win the verbal fight, did I pissed-off on him, do I became a real stud or dude *feeling of proud* errr…….what I m thinking man… I should think about ma girlfriend and m busy in screwing ma head about the result of abusive conversation competition between me and him…. So is she having any passing affair, m I her first choice , what if umang was right,What if she still having multiple affairs…. What should I do , now what can I do (only state in life where a man interviewed by himself… ok ok wrong example, I know that )

But only she can answer all this, I should call her….

Me: hello

She: hey hiii sexy

Me: (last word should b said by me…. What a real morom I m) who is this umang ??

She: ahh m school friend, but y r asking ?? and how do u know him.

Me: he called me , begging for his X-Girl-friend.

She: and who is his girl-friend?

Me: (what the hell is going on, now she is hiding something from me) its u *dumbo*

She: what the hell….!!! He is not ma boyfriend, ahhh actually he is the boy-friend of shalini.

Me: whatever *least interested in shalini..actually focusing on her right now*

She: but y he called u .?? must b abhishek told him to do so.

Me: now who is this abhishek in the story.

She: Ma Boy-friend…. Actually ma best friend.

Me: decide first Boy-friend or Best-friend *angry*

She: Best-friend

Me: and who I m ??

She: ma boy-friend , ma loved one, but what did u said him *thank god*.

Me: I think I just pissed-off on him… ya definitely *confused*.... I tought him a lesson .

She: I know … u have real balls and guts, that’s what I like in u , I m proud of u, I love u.

Me: but r u sure na… that u don’t have any affair other than me *still confused*

She: no ma baby… lets go to watch any movie , lets change ur mind.

Me: na sexy not yet (at last I used that word… what a good learner I m ), I will definitely portrayed this incident over ma blog and will participate in “soch lo” contest. And after I win we will go for movie and will have a great time together.

She: ohhhh ur fucking blog...it looks like ur second girl-friend, just go to hell with ur blog, m going.

Me: I love u sexy...but I will not hear anything about ma blog specially that f-word, if u cant understand it, its ur fault, infact I think u too born without human SPERMS .

To vote for this post click here

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2010-08-06T03:23:00.000+05:30

~~Insanity by mag[m]~~

EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR is a thing that can b done in any form sometimes it was done by mom , girl friend , news channel , by tushaar kapoor’s movie , by some deadly pj and off course by Ram Gopal Verma.But I have a different experience about it, experience that shows ma reality ma absurdness, ma insanity and a real mag.

It was a ma frnd birthday party, and u know what…only the boys hostel is the only place in the world where people r really feared of it…. Why , u really want to know y…. just b there once and than ur ass will answer u ( minimum 6-7 round and each include belts frm buckle side, pipes, boot kicks, slaps, sleepers and many more made it for u ) but it was the awesome part that we missed a lot after hostel becoz of such a blast, passion, love, party….. ohhh m talking about party*grin* ( every time I lost , when it was a talk about ma hostel life) .

As much I know about ma engineering life and ma mates , we engineers r passioate about only three things girlfriend, whisky , and a job in MNC( rest things lies only in sub-line) and this passion changes into the obsession when u got two of them.

Party was at its peak and ma peg too, everything was going blunder , we enjoying at our best and at 11 we went back to our hostel and than a round of dance party started and we emjoyed a lot. Than after ma frnd dropped me to ma room and as he went off to ma room, I turned towards ma PC and checked ma gtalk( another things about engineers they hardly shut down their PC and always show online status) it shows sun.sign.verma@gmail.com is online… and suddenly ma third passion provoked me, I controlled ma nerves and hold the keyboard and said….

Me: hiiiii

How r u ???

She: hiii

M f9 u tell ??

Me:- m too

Whats ur name..??

She: what….!! U really don’t know..??

I m Shruti…. Shruti kapoor

Me: and m manish

She: I know

Me: ( must b she saw ma id that started with ma name )hmm…. So what do u do ?

She: Have u drunked.??

Me: ( I checked for any spy cam in ma room ) y so..?? , I don’t like to drink… infact I hate those who drink.

She: ohhh really * unbelievable *

Me: actually m pursuing engineering..

She: I know…

Me: Again u know *puzzeled*, but I must say u have very sweet talking style.

She: *blank*…. Thnxs.

Me: do u have a boy friend ???

She: hmmm naaahhh

Me: even I too don’t have any girl friend.

She: What….!!! What do u mean ??

Uumm but as I know…… swati is ur GF na.??

Me : (what…!! Even she know about swati) na na she is just ma frnd , actually it is not official she didnt accepted ma praposal yet, but *interrupted*

She: but ur orkut acc shows that u r commited.

Me: Aree it is for fun only but ( whoopppp …forgotten what m saying…whisky mania)

She: so which is ur fav brand Signature or Blender’s Pride ??

Me: *confused* how wud I know…. I never drink

What do u do ???

She: engineering.

Me: what a coincidence, m too doing ma B.tech.

Which branch ?

She : Electronics & Communication

Me: wow…!! Again same , m too from EC.

Don’t tell me that u r in 3^rd year.

She: ya exactly

Me: OMG…. So many coincidences in a single day. We should meet before, a lot can happen* fishy mind*.

She: ( what is it really mean…” a lot can happen”) *blank*

Me: m doing ma B.tech GLA mathura and u ??

She: me too

Me: what….!! What r u saying but ….wait wait… if u r from GLA and from EC, than u should b ma class mate.

She : wow… what a sharp mind u have *commented*

Me: but I don’t know u…. hey r u shruti kapoor ??

She: already told u that m shruti kapoor.

Me: but u didn’t tell me kit um wo wali shruti kapoor ho

She: what is this “wo wali shruti kapoor” , m swati’s room mate…. Ur girlfriend’s ohh sorry just-a- frnd’s room mate , I must tell this to swati .

Me: hey plz yaar, m just joking, plz don’t tell this to swati else wiase I again become single

She : ohhh really * pathetic ohh*

Me: ok ok I feel sleepy m going.

She: I know…. It is better for u

Me: bye , take care ( sign out immediately before its reply came)

Still I don’t know whether I was suffered by EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR or she., but who cares about that. But i must say that “ liquor drinking is enjourious to health and after that to talk with any girl can b even more dangerous”.so always b aware of that.

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2010-07-30T23:10:00.000+05:30

Insanity of mag[m]

Me : What-the-Fuck , u r still sleeping , how can u do this to me.

Saurabh : *yawn* bro just give me 15 min, I will be there.

Me: m already waiting for u from past half ’n’ hour.

Saurabh : cool bro cool , lit some cigarette and take some Eye-Tonic (off couse for hot chicks) and m coming *call disconnected*

Ohhh FUCK U SAURABH….!!! I never understand his worthless talks like ,y he is in so hurry in disconnecting the incoming calls , which cigarette has a lifetime of 15 min, and what the hell a hot chick will do at bus-stand 7’o’clock in the morning.At last he came , came 30 min more late and I already know this ( women’s 15 min = 1 hour and saurabh’s 15 min = half hour, …. That’s y I call him a HALF WOMEN)

Me : so where we have to go ??

Saurabh : its a interview in HP.

Me : whats the address ??

Saurabh: how would I know *innocent*, u r here from past 1 hour and don’t know the address , what the fuck r u doing here, u asshole, fucker ….

Me : (only bad thing about engineering guys, they don’t even talk without some exclamatory words) ok ok check ur mail and find the address ( thnxs to mobile )

Somehow we managed to reached at destination and we r attended by the DOBERMANS ( yaa this was the name of attendants….. actually the security guards from DOBERMANS SECURITY….what a blender name) well we settled down, submitted our resums, fill the form and than starts waiting for our turn but…

How can a story b completed without girl and this time a group of girls, …HOT GIRLS , they continuously gaze us and laugh, again they saw us and laugh… both of we looked at each other and than we checked our dress , hairstyle , facial expression for any awkwardness but everything is perfect, but still they r looking at us and smiling, we r unable to resolve the mystry, we cant understand that what the fuck is going on.We decided to protect our “IZZAT” and We took our chairs ( yaa limited chairs were their so we have to protect them like anything) and placed just next to them and started our self defence…

Saurabh : yaar wo laal wali meri hai.

Me: sale tum usi k layak ho , but don’t dare to put ur eye on girl in jeans.

Saurabh : kaun jeans wali be * now he saw her* abe ye to bht maal hai, teri bhabhi yahi banegi.

Me : to lal wali ka kya hoga…??

Saurabh : Lal wali ko plan-B k liye rakh lete hai, jeans wali nhi maani to lal wali pe try karenge lekin aaj khali haath nhi jayenge.

Me : hmm to main bhi 2 select ker leta hoon.

We really don’t know that these HOT-GIRLS cant even understand hindi( all efforts wasted by COOL-BOYZ… *sympathy*) but sometimes “action speaks louder than words” and our focus of eyes on different parts of girls, our way of absurd talking and hand movement done it for us. HOT-GIRLS just scared of us and gone from there and in the battle between HOT GIRLS vs COOL BOYZ, we won . Some times ur insanity can save u. Thnxs to saurabh.

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2010-07-26T03:05:00.000+05:30

Insanity of mag[m]...

Bangalore…. Ya same city that known for “THREE W” ( Whether, wine and off course woman). It is the dream city for all engineers (ya I declare it as engineers city , what u denied with me *angry* just hide ur ass and get lost from here), m here from past 5 days and every day I spend like a tourist not because ma insanity but by its nomenclature( maratalli , banargatti, agrahara * yekk wrong spelling again*…. Ma engineering is even easier than to remember this) m trying to explore it in ma way. so here it comes ma experience…

1. Hot chicks…. *shining in eyes* bullshit yaar, more than 80% girls have darker complexions than me , 10% are suffered from over stomach and moustaches, 8% don’t know English ( dil k armaan dil me hi reh gaye ...) and rest 2% are already engaged (what !!! again no chance for me*sad*)

2. Buses… high frequency, low crowd, well maintained but still drivers never used their horns. Its ur duty to keep urself away from their way even at the turns. So its BETTER TO LATE THAN NEVER…ohhh its not for bus its for u ma dear.

3.If u want to communicate with corporate employees, bus stands are the best place for u. Because 75% of them may belongs to top MNC’s of world ( google, Amcad, sapient intel, oracle ,IBM ,blah blah…)

4.first time here I enjoyed ma smoking puffs with a girl ( she came ,buy, burn it and smoke just next to me hardly 50 cm away). I thought I never forget that day but who knows this scene repeat itself as CID reruns on sony, 5 times in a day and everyday.Here cigrette packets are extra yellow and samosas are preserved like sweets and Sambhar is all time most demanded dish for all and can be use in any form( as Daal , Sabji, Soup , taste maker,drink). First time i saw 18 types of DOSA .

5.Best part is that when in morning ur illetrate cook asked u " sir what will u prefer in breakfast" ( what...!!!! he know english than how can i say him ILLETRATE....Bade bade shahro me choti choti baate hoti rehti hai simran) In Bangalore first time I understand the feelings of illiterate persons *sympathy*. and the..Address was written just in front of me but still I cant read it (KANNAD u have done it ...congrats !!!), autos , buses, radio, mobile ringtone , people talking everything is like it is pinching hard in the ear.

6.I cant understand y bangalorians love “aa” word most like larga, wenta, calla and yahan tak to thik hai they even don’t feel awkward to use this saga of “aa” in fuck, suck, lick etc.Here GOLDFLAKE is smoked by extreme lower class and their wordings at shop is One-aa smallaa goldflake-aa.

But inspite of all factors it’s a city of dreamers who dare to go beyond clouds and believe in expanding the horizons, it’s a city of software explosion with electronic blast , everything is perfect, I just can say only “M LOVIN IT”.

u may also like ma other insane stories:-

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2010-06-26T11:34:00.000+05:30

After writing many worst post now m addicted to write even more worse ( hmm...Practice made a man perfect ) But its not entirely ma fault ,as so many blogger with so many mind, worked on so many stories that how can a little devil like me can get the story or even idea , m like an insane who cant write on abstract topics like nature, internet, social add ....etc ( aawwkkkk chhhiiiiii) and always need some interesting incident to b portrayed ( ohhhhh...... 4 lines completed without any relevant matter....now i consider ma self a good writer).

But still somehow ma story begins....Room was filled with extreme silence , tube light denied to glow, fan was generating a tornado, and mind restricted all the flow ......ohhh no no it was not any haunted house it was ma weird room where i was sleeping ,and today too i was doing the same thing when suddenly a atom bomb blasted just above ma ear ( actually a pendulum watch) one after another a continuous chain of 10 atom bombs....WTF yaar......i didnt hate ma studies as much as i hate the pendulam of ma watch. i woke up and sat on couch in front of TV and try to listen a romantic song with mind almost in coma. Suddenly a romantic song transformed into intolerable wrap music, I focussed ma mind with irritation...... ohhh ....it was not wrap yaar it was ma mom who was calling me for breakfast , I stood up but suddenly ma mobile rang and.... and..... and it was SHRUTI...ma girlfriend

SHRUTI :- Hello honey , how r u ??

ME :- ( with 1000 volts of supply) Hey shr.....shrikant ( MOM was just beside me ) how r u ??? kab wapas aayi ??? and howz ur trip ...??

SHRUTI :- who is this bloddy shrikant..?? okiessss so urs mom was near and u r terrified .....ohhh POOR MOMS BOY ...well meet me in 1 Hr in CCD. m going back to ma aunty's palce in nainitaal in 2 hrs.

ME :- ( what 1 hr its impossible...lots of works to do ...from toilet to breakfast) okk m coming.

SHRUTI :- ok LOVE U BYE

ME :- hmm bye

SHRUTI :- na na say LOVE U ..... if u really love me than say LOVE U.

ME:- (what the bloody hell... does these two words r capable in justifying ma loyality ...if not than what the Fuck is this ) hmmmm LABLOO bye.( disconnected with a sign of releif)

I turned besides, ma mom was gazing me with her thousands of unfired bullets.....

ME :- WHAT....!!!

MOM :- who was on the phone ??

ME :- Shrikant.... ma class mate in clg

MOM :- than y u say " kab wapas aayi "..??

ME :- ( beta manish ...this time no one can save u ) did i say aayi.... what aayi....what r u talking mom...what aayi.....no aayi no gayi.... this is all just beacuase of urs nonsense SAAS BAHU SERIALS.

MOM :- what is this LABLOO..?

ME :- ( ohh shit.....!!!! she remembered it too...what a memoy....y didnt she try for RAW or FBI ) ... ummm umm actually his nick name was BABLOO so we tease him by DABLOO , LABLOO , FABLOO and all. ummm Now may i go...???

MOM :- but before that drop me at chachi's place.

ME :- no mom , i will b late i cant...

MOM :- Beta its urgent...

I cant even understand what to do or what not, whom to choose and whom to ditch. A great dilemma captured ma mind but suddenly someone helped me. Who....?? its MTv.... How ...??

Bagon k her phool ko apna samajhe baghbaan

her ghadi kare rakhwali

patta patta, daali-daali seenche baghbaan

Baghbaan rab hai baghbaan

WHAT.......!!! how can this crap turned me , how can this take me away from ma gf , infact these 4 line shows such a result that i have to throw hundreds of sorry, thousands of swears , and millions of emotional attack to compensate the effect.

OTher Posts.....
ONE WORD....just a one word
TRAINgular journey
BEER with me
5 Rules for Girl friend

ONE WORD......Just a one word

2010-06-19T14:36:00.000+05:30

STATUTORY WARNING:- Read the Complete letter dont dare to skip even a single line because this is ma blog and i will tell u how to read it.

" I can go through whole of ma life but never find another u , u r so special for me that i really love u" NA..NA ... dont get confused this was not said by me , It was just a copy paste ( even sometimes i prefer to speak truth), I always try to write hilarious post but this doesnt mean that i dont have a pain in ma heart.... there is a pain......a pain for girl friend ( as usual).

Sometimes just a single word can change your life, it has a power to create a difference like hills and valley ,a simple SORRY removes all the bitterness of a relation , a simple TRUE / FALSE can make u to clear an objective exam , a simple YES can make u and ur love together, but unfortunately ma ONE WORD is out of this word, M sharing a letter with u ,that was given to me by a human being and show u how just a single word broken all ma dreams, desire, hopes and opportunities ......

Hello Mr. Busy,

M writing this letter but really dont know whether i will give it to u or not but i wanna say something which i can never told to u when u r in front of me. U r an integral part of mine, a better one to whom i admire , i posses , i care , i like, i love. U met me 4 year back in clg , I always remember ma first day , first step, ma first talk, first fight, first outing with u and everything that we have done together.Ma arms missed holding u, ma eyes missed ur smile, ma ears missed the sound of ur laugh, i missed the smell of ur hear and taste of ur hug, i missed ur head resting on ma chest, i missed looking at u across the couch as i rub ur leg, i missed brushing back ur hair, missed holding ur hand, missed to staring into ur beautiful black eyes, i missed being held by u, i missed being near u, i missed u.

I care for u , i adore for u, i long for u , long to see ur love and adoration in ur eyes, i had the most wonderful time with u nd m gonna miss that to the whole of ma life, u made ma 4 year journey precious, priceless, memorable , thnxs for for being such a nice frnd of mine.....

LOVE U & MISS U BADLY...

Yours loving

"GOVIND"

WHAT....!!! ....A BOY....!!! Yes this letter was given to me by one of ma best frnd and the same was the greatest pain of ma life. Just a single word , last word " GOVIND" brokes all ma dreams and desires, it was just like thousands of needles pintched inside me.It can b life happiest moment if the last word represents some other sexual orientation than male but......

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.......

Ma Other posts:-

"BEER" with me
TRAINgular Journey
5 Rules for girl friend
Broken DEsires

A TRAINgular journey

2010-06-15T16:30:00.000+05:30

One of ma friend was addicted of blogging and and started its TRAINgular journey...but unfortunately train stopped caused engine failure and its blog too.But this TRAINgular journey does not have any resemblance with that older one but have so much similarity with ma story that even i cant stop ma self from title stealing ( srry yaar ankit ). Title suits the story in both the ways, first one that incidence was happened in TRAIN and second was that its a story of Three(Triangle) creatures ( what a worst description, now i consider maself as a geek) , so A TRAINgular journey....

Patna-Mathura Express that played the lead role in the movie and i was just a passenger that caught the train on Agra station. "S-7, 63 Middle birth", I entered in the train with ma heavy luggage , with t-shirt that quoted "Bachna e haseeno lo mai aa gaya"(......how cool), I searched for ma seat location, placed ma luggage, bought some water bottle and some packets of biscuit, put the music on headphones and finally settled down, than suddenly a female voice came frm ma left side , I turned and.... WTF...!! It was an ANGEL having fair complexion wearing skin tight jeans and a black top quoted "All men are dogs", I immediately remove ma gazing eyes to prevent me from category of DOG , I wanna talk to her but that t-shirt slogan terrified me all the time.She read ma quote and passed a smile like I belongs to some urban area of africa who would have least dressing sense on planet , her eyes were shouting on me like "POOR GUY", first time I felt embarrassed abt ma dress, i immediately covered up the slogan with ma shirt and passed a friendly smile in response.

time was passed slowly and at 1 in night train stopped at TUNDLA JUNCTION, creature lying in front of me removed its blanket and......OMG !!! Another ANGEL.... I never expect this much of excitement came in ma life on just a single night...white short kurta with navy blue jeans having black friendship band on whitish wrist and the circular specks was generating a tremendous innocence on her face. She woke up... made her throat wet and asked me...

ANGEL:- which station is this ?

Me:- Tundla ...... ummm kahan tak jana hai aapko ???

ANGEL:-(...Angry look....with a desire to slap me hard ) LUCKNOW .

Me:- ( with Killing smile ) M too going Lucknow , Lucknow me kahan jana hai aapko ? ( This time i crossed the limit )

ANGEL:- Do u have any magazine ???
Me:- yaaa ( I have to choose between Playboy and India today) i offered India Today.
ANGEL:- thnxs ( conversation ended).

I was excited too much that even i cant sense that what the crap i was doing and saying....I headed toward first angel she was busy with her headphones , i collected all ma nerves and said.

Me:- can u plz close the window its so cold ("giggles")
ANGEL:- without any respose to me she closed the shutter and busy again with her head phones.
Me:- (i felt strange but for longer conversation i fired another deadly question) Kaun sa gaana sun rahi hai ???
ANGEL:- Ringa-Ringa Remix (what a weired look as she was compelled to tell her size in a public place)
Me:- Immediately i remembered the lyrics....what a sizzling lyrics , i passed a notorious smile with a slight tilt of eyes.

I have lost in ma own created world where i was sat alone with the two most hot chicks of ma life and enjoying their every little activity and most optimistically i started thinking one of them as ma future girl friend. Old age community of ma train was gazing me as i teased their daughter or grand daughter, First time train compartment looks better than heaven, vibration of train creates the scene of dancing platform and and i felt maself like INDRA DEV to whom these two APSARAYE were trying to attract.

But every time i got the balloon of happiness somebody came to puncture it , an old lady of approx age 60-65 came sat next to me and said very politely " can u plz exchange ur seat with me, i have an upper birth and cant climb". ....NO NOT NEVER this was ma first reaction but unfortunately soundless , first time both the two angels were looking at me , first time the old age community was gazing me with some expectations , first time a thought what m going to do is wrong ....but YES... YES was ma answer.

I shifted to the upper birth , entire compartment murmuring abt me " WHAT A NICE GUY" , I put headphones in ears and like always closed ma eyes and lost again in ma so called dreams where at least i can plot the timing , characters and story.

"BEER" with me
5 Rules for Girlfriend
Broken DEsires
Thinking power Of mind

"BEER" with me.....

2010-06-14T11:41:00.000+05:30

After the long involvement of Engg studies i was mentally exhausted and need some immediate medical attention for survival ,although i havent set any milestone but to run in MARATHON and to complete is also a big deal, and luckily i got a chance to attend one of ma frnds sis marriage just after the completion of B.tech.Now m going to ALLAHABAD, Time is there when the city was known for CHANDRA SHEKHAR "AZAD", KHUSRAU BAGH , MUSEUM , FORTS but now a days only known for BOL-BACHAN and AMITABH BACHHAN.

6 close frnds frm 6 different cities are coming to attend ANNA's sister marriage, all r depressed , frustrated , humiliated , sucked ( y m using so many words when only one word can express the condition......simply FUCKED) by paternal / maternal torture, Because difference in hostel and home life was just like difference in NOKIA N-73 with NOKIA 1200 (....connecting people)....At 12'o' clock the Tornado was generated ,hotel room was over flowed with laughter , bed was unable to bear the weight of six monsters fighting to hug each other , We all duffers were together and the round of endless autobiographies started.

An engineering student has one common thing in their packet of joy and sorrow........BEER (hmmm....HAYWORD 5000) order of 8 beer was already placed along with Egg cutlet , cheese pakora , peenut masala and.......so on (one thing we like in marriage was that u just focus on variety of dishes not on their prices) Round 1 started , as much the liquid go inside double of quantity of talks comes outside , n the room was overloaded with beer bottles, cigratte butts , matchsticks and the grayish smoke, Storm was not stopped here , 2nd Round than 3rd round and the final 4th round....no of bottles degrades every time but still a total count of .......OMG !!! 22 bottles was there, and after the alcohol everyone consider himself more accurate and responsible ( what a bullshit...) so we decided to wake up at 5 'o' clock and went to sleep.

Fuck Fuck Fuck....it was 8:20 pm , i jumped from the bed and woke the others but still one of then said...

MM:- kya natak hai abhi to 4 baje hai , teri utri nhi hai kya...???

ME:- 4 !! (puzzled and check the time again...) abe gadhe minute ki nhi ghante ki sui dekh.....ghante sale

MM:- OMG !! y didnt u do this before, u took the task to woke us all...

ME:-pathetic smile.....(saale jaga diya kya kam hai... body me alarm clock fit hai kya jo sahi time per jagata )

All r suffering from HANG OVER but any how we manage to collect the belongings and converted us from daily ware to party ware. At 9:45 ANKIT shouted " saalo gift to liya hi nahi" and beleive me sometimes a hanged over mind runs faster than speed of sound, immediately thousands of option were produced in a sec from FLOWER BOO-KEY to KITCHEN SET , from VISHAL MEGA MART to BIG BAZAAR and CASH GIFT to NO GIFT....and every one was fixed with his own choice and least interested in each others choice....so it was decided to headed towards destination and whatever came first and whichever things was available , we will buy.it.

Finally we reach VISHAL MEGA MART which was just abt to close ,we bought a DESSERT SET and OH SHIT !!...its a 10:50.....now we started the search for RICKSHAWALA , in life first time i made so many attempts for doing the same thing and all the time rejected, time was so bad for us that now even RICKSHAWALEY were not interested in us may b because of our weird look or may b smell of BEER frm mouth....but this unknown quality had made us to walk 2 km far on a dusty road.

Finally we reached at destination at 11:35 pm with struggling breathe , fully bathed in sweat , hairs were automatically spiked, and whatever we weared is no more than useless,we searched for our frnd ANNA and asked him

ME:- Koi kaam ho to batana, we r here so dont worry yaar .

ANNA:-Badi jaldi aa gaye saalo , Barat ko aaye hue aadha ghanta ho chuka hai.....ghante saale

we just handed over the gift to him and made an attack on food , Starving stomack and blasting mind forced us for ignore all and just focus on food, we eat than drink ...than eat than drink than again eat....after half an hour we sat on couch at waiting for "JAIMAAL" but unfortunately we didnt control the shutters of our eyes and started napping, So we decided to skip the JAIMAAL and returned back to hotel.

The day was so hectic and full of tragedies that we cant sleep without sleeping pills and what can act as sleeping pills better than BEER so we bought another bottle of ALCOHOL.....but this time it was not 8 % this time it was 42.8%......A BLENDER'S PRIDE.

5 Rules for girl friend
Thinking Power Of Mind
Virginity Vs Flirting
Inside Story
Broken Desire

COLLEGE LIFE...... ADDICTED

2010-06-09T16:28:00.000+05:30

Sometimes to live in a tight schedule and to abuse it all the time has its own joy rather than to sit alone and fishing for any work to do. M talking abt ma last days of clg life . Some broken desires , many extra-ordinary habits, unforgettable frnds and deadly a B.Tech DEGREE ( not for CS IT , They r pursuing DIPLOMA) made ma past four year as the best part of ma life. I have ma own list of Broken desires and lets check how much it will matches with anyone who ever lived in hostel..

SOME BROKEN DESIRES-

1- Still a Virgin

2- Current status- SINGLE

3- Unemployed

4- Marks thode aur achhe ho sakte the.

5- Agar thodi mehnat aur kerta to wo ladki pat sakti thi.

6- Agar pi ker pakada nhi jata to mai bhi saaf character ka hota..

7- Agar Beer aur Whisky 1 saath nhi pita to back nhi marta.

8- Agar First year me hi khelna shuru ker deta to clg ka achha cricketer ban sakta tha.

9- Agar dhang se apti me nakal kari hoti to aaj INFOSYS me hota.

10- Aaj tak train ki jis bogi me baitha wo MAHILA VIHIN ho gayi.

11- Library nhi ja paya.

12- First seat per baithne ka sapna , sapna hi reh gaya.

13- Mai YOGI ko hara nhi paya.

14- Counter-strike ki team nhi ban payi.

BUT WHAT ABSTRACT WE LEARN FROM COLLEGE

1- English songs

2- Computer Hardware ka operation kerna

3- Baate Dhakelna or Dealing dena

4- Kisi cheez ko maangne me sharm na kerna even if it is bathing soap

5- Pi ker Dance kerna

6- Ladki ki geography analyze kerna

7- Orkut per ladkiyo ko frnd rqst bhezna or jab baat hone lage to gtalk per bulana aur fir milne jana.

8- How to cack exam without syudy

9- Viva ki 2 min ki baezzati jhelna

10- Ragging lena aur dena

11- Toofan me bhi 1 machis ki teeli se cig jalana

12- Beer ki bottle muh se kholna

We learn less in the eyes of world but we know that what we learn is simply outstanding and no other course can teach this and no other can involve this in their syllabi. Love ma clg and ma hostel ,iss u all ma mates.

5 Rule For GIRL FRIEND
Broken Desires
Virginity Vs Flirting

5 RUles for GIRL FRIEND

2010-06-04T12:01:00.000+05:30

All the given material is fictitious and have no resemblance with any dead or alive person and to follow this involve the serious risk.....so b aware before reading!!!

Having a GIRL FRIEND is a hidden desire of all , some make efforts to make this dream true and some just hide this in their ass .Off course Neither m a love guru nor i giving u a surety that following rules can make ur life out of trouble. This is just an effort to hand over ma experience to u all....

RULE 1 :- Never focus on hottest chick of ur community always try for the third or fourth no girls in boyz so called girls rating list. this involves less competition , less efforts , less planning and more specifically success rate is very high. Selection is a factor that defines ur success. Like AJAY DEVGAN is successful for KAJOL but might b failed in case of AISHWARYA RAI.

RULE 2 :- Propose the girl in ur second meeting bcoz a girl saw hundreds of boyz in a day with the same eye but if u propose her than she will saw u with different angle. That creates the difference between u and all. Just like IMRAN HASMI done in movie TUMSA NHI DEKHA to DIYA MIRZA.

RULE 3 :- Always pray for the rejection of your first proposal to the girl because only a whore can accept your proposal in very first time, so b ready for ur next proposal and next attempt should b made very soon and make a loop of proposal till she said yes.

RULE 4:- If u r Alcoholic than this quality goes into ur favour. Just call her when u r drunken or just pretend that u r drunken and throw some emotional talks that defines her innocence her character and her beauty. Because it’s a girls tendency that a person who can praise her or love her in the position when he even didn’t stand straight than how much he praise her in normal conditions.

RULE 5 :- Never go for the bullshits like “sacrifice “ for sake of anyone specially frnds bcoz everything can be recovered except girl and if u have a girl it will open ur way to enter in the girls world where others girls wanna talk to u , they admire u , and consider u as a safe guy, and this safe guy proverb helps u most.

DEFAULT :- If still u r alone than dear u r not made for girls , u should accept that u r just an asshole , a good for nothing and no one can do for u anything , so it’s a advise to u to concentrate on your studies or ur job and rest left on your parents they will definitely provide u one.

BEST OF LUCK.....

BROken DEsiREs..

THINking POWer Of MInd

INSide STory

VIRginiTY vs FLIRting

BRokEn DEsiREs.......

2010-05-30T18:22:00.000+05:30

From Amar prem to Rab ne bana di jodi , and DDLG to Mohabbtein and many more which i missed have a common thing.....LOVE STORY ,deadly and simply mind blowing. Although we knew that these typical love stories are rarely to b possible in practical but the impact was so hard that some of us go crazy abt this phenomenon of love

this post is abt a guy ANKIT VAIBHAV whom i met in ma clg.he has his own love story but in a different way.It is not like CHETAN BHAGAT's two stages of marriage in fact many stages of love ....

7 STANDARD- he fell in live with his class monitor.cute smile, innocent talks made him crazy. He almost decided to propose her but before that she passed his name to class teacher abt his mischief in class.
RESULT- 2 hr kaan pakad ker bench per khada hona pada. means first crush..... FUCKED

10 STANDARD- This time he had a crush on his BIOLOGY teacher,he attended all her lecture with complete home work, she really impressed with him , but one mistake...only one...he placed the red rose in her book.
RESULT- beech corridor me MURGA bana diya gaya....means again.....FUCKED

ENGG. PREPARATION- Again a girl from Delhi stolen his heart, long chats, movie together, roaming in the city boosted his life.He started learning the curves of that girl rather that integration curve. But one day her brother caught him red handed.
RESULT- Bhari coaching me TADAK TADAK......3rd crush........FUCKED

ENGG. FIRST YEAR- Kutte ki pooch tedhi ki tedhi...again surrended his heart to his classmate. But this time great choice, a hot chick, playing the safest game of his life,no mistake no hyper excitement, but some time success involves a great risk. He took risk but a little later,she was already engaged.
RESULT- Bhawre ne khilaya phool , hool ko le gaya rajkuvar......once again...FUCKED

SECOND YEAR- Now he had pointed on a junior, he organized some unreasoned parties just to invite her, used the full power of seniority, asked for her personal cell no. sms her without reason just to show his care for her, and finally he made a plan to propose her after sem break during his journey to home with her...BUT she said bhaiya mera bhi reservation kara dena.
RESULT- Bhaiya mere rakhi k bandhan ko nibhana.......FUCKED

FINAL YEAR- after so many crushes now finally he achieves the saturation where a man just need 2 legs with gap in between and some curves. He doesn't have any criterion, even sometimes girl from gaon(chaumuha)looks him sexy. i dont know abt his engg degree but surely he achieves the tag of ROADSIDE ROMEO....hats off ankit....love u

THInking POwer OF MInd.....AWEsome
INsiDE stORy
VIRginIty Vs FLIrting
LOose COntrOL
STRuGGliNG STreEts OF LOve
LOve LOst LAbour

ThINkiNG POwer OF miND......AWEsome !!

2010-05-29T03:49:00.000+05:30

Blogging is one of the typical task to perform specially when u r running out of time energy material and specially a topic, but its ma blog and i can write scrap also on it and no one can stop me not even Google itself.

It was a time of mid Dec when cold was on its peak, breeze was blowing, surrounding were full of silence and everyone surrendered himself in their packed home.Although m a chain smoker but sometimes even god pumped the smoke in ur mouth. i was waiting for ma turn in hostel mess and shivered every after 10 sec.I decided to have ma dinner in room under the warmth of room heater so i took the plate and headed towards the dormitory.

I love Britishers specially in this season when it comes to a use of a spoon instead of hands. I enjoyed the food and and passed ma plate just outside the door and jumped inside ma blanket without any crapy hand wash( who wants to pay such a big price to b hygienic).sometimes even food is more alcoholic than real alcohol it reacts immediately with an adverse effect of sleepyness...specially when u r student.

m enjoying ma sleep inside ma warmth little shelter till i found a knock on ma door... some how i woke up!! sleepy eyes sleepy voice nd sleepy mind too...i asked whoz that..?? no reply... i slept again ...suddenly i found a hard stuck on ma door . I woke up again..!!

Someone is hitting ma balcony door with horrible voice in the midnight. Still i cant imagine the scenario as m mind is still sleepy than suddenly a sound of " ghunghuru " came. ma mind moved first time i flash backed IRFAN KHAN's "MANO YA NA MANO" and AAHAT, i jumped for ma mobile with HANUMAAN CHALISA(actually order was interchanged) i tried to call ma mate....WTF!! insufficient balance...

I shouted for help, even from the deepest frm ma throat but ma strongest effort went soundless, m shivering again but this time reason was not same, i tried to hide ma self inside the quilt but only this time ma blanket was unable to hide maself. but human was the best creature of god so I collected the courage, reunited ma guts, checked for balls, relaoded ma nerves and decided to open the door...ya i decided to open the door(inside m fighting with maself that y i took this decision). I went for the latch and free it...uuuuffff it was a little MONKEY playing with some sort of "jhunjhuna" and this jhunjhuna made ma whole night jhunjhuna.

BROken DESires
LOose CONtroL
LOve LOst LAbour
STRuggLIng STreeTS of LOve
VIRgiNIty Vs FLIrtinG
A HIddEN HUnk's PERsoNAl

InsIDe STorY

2010-05-28T04:08:00.000+05:30

Dont b confuse that it was an interview call for a job...or news paper or else.. bcoz neither m a celebrity nor the news channels have enough time nd space for such craps like me.

It was a hard call from hell (warden's office) where 7-8 monster r waiting for attack on a cute innocent boy who has just a crime to get drunked at that day. But whats a big deal if a 22 yr engineering guy drinks half a bottle of beer( actually just pretending...it was 3 nd half bottle)... even people can smoke more poision in pollution in metros.

Monster: Whats ur name?
Me: Manish

Monster: From where u r coming ?
Me: (motherfucker when u know d truth than y r u asking with me) aaahhh...aaaahhh....nowhere sir.

Monster:Whats ur father mobile no.... tumhre kaarnaame to bata de?
Me: (this was d only thing frm which i afraid) Sir ma parents went to australia....aaaahhhh ma brother too....

Monster: "ghar per koi hai" ?
Me: naaah....only ma cousin was there...

Monster: call him ?
Me: i cant sir....plz sir plz....aahhh actually he was physically challenged by ear.

Monster: achha.... than write an apology letter and i will post it to to ur home
Me: mmm yes sir...(laughing silently...i know m safe now)i wrote an apology letter.

accidently he saw ma cell phone and all go for last dialed no... oh shit .....not again....it was a no of a girl on whom i wasted ma 9 sms packs in just past 3 days.....he called her.

Monster: Is that arpita..??
She :yes

Monster : u know manish ??
She : yes

Monster: (with kamini smile) m UMESH calling frm manish's clg...and wanted to know u something abt manish..
She : go to hell with manish and u too...dont dare to call me again u asshole...he frustrated me with his msgs....if next time u called i will launch an FIR against u both ...

Monster looked at me with puzzled eyes filled with anger... but now he strats talking to me with some kind of a respect ( i guess that he guessed that i m not caught just by a guess, he might have though me as a big criminal , a gangster) he said....

Monster: aur kaun kaun tha saath me ??
Me: sir I drink alone...
Monster: y so ?
Me: bcoz i became violent and dangerous after drinking.
Monster: how u know...??
Me : ma frnds told me...
Monster: nd whats ur frnd name ??
Me : ( now i realizez what i told to him) aaahhh no one sir....aawwwaaaak...(vomit...(actually pretend 2 vomit)

he looked at me and said ...go to ur room i will see u tommorow....u will regret for this mistake....but once anyone get from instant than no bloody mother fucker licking dick can do anything...

BRokEN DEsireS
LOOse CONtrol
STruGGliNG stREEts OF LOve
LOve LOst LAbour
THInkiNG POwer OF MINd
VIRgiNIty Vs FlirtING

VIRGINITY Vs FLIRTING

2010-05-14T18:06:00.000+05:30

CITIABAAZ.....this is the word that i learned during ma clg life.Ma mates called me that i m one of the biggest citiabaaz of the college but i never understand whats a big deal in that even i thought that it was a far better catagory than some of ma popular mates have. They were considered as innocent assholes bcoz their truth was hidden behind their ass. this was a post to reveal their success story.

I would like to start ma story with a hero of BIHAR who enjoyed every female orgasm in his BIHAR like " gaon ki chori , kare ganne k khet me hora hori". he is none other than CHANDRA PRAKASH DWIVEDI. who lost his virginity first time when he is in 11 standard at the time when i even dont know what the virginity is....Next emerging star is SAURABH PATEL who can forget to put ATM card in his wallet but never forgot to put a packet of CONDOM. In-spite of having a steady gf he never missed a chance to do a hanky panky with a girl. Somebody said right Virginity is not a matter of destiny its a lack of opportunity......and i m sure for all true lovers of ma clg if they get a chance than they will also never say no to this......Patel luv u.

we have some more heroes in the catagory like yogi and Vindhes. i considered as the master of this sex game. they had every type of experiance like "pata k sex", paid sex , emotional sex , and a forceful sex. their follower anna and ashish is still not so much lagging even he is on of the regular customer of AGRA's red light area. the list was so long and google never allowed me to take this much space for ma "pole khol"

They said that i m CITIABAAZ , i admit that i m , i proudly said i m , becoz sometimes citiabaazi is a better compliment that a virginity looser.I proud to b a VIRGIN.i posted this blog on the special request of patel who teased me with name but now i have a answer......u fucking asshole a NON VIRGIN .

THInkINg POwer OF MInd
BRokEN DEsiREs
LOOse CONtrOL

ANKIT MISHRA.....a HIDden HUnk's persoNALs

2010-04-25T22:05:00.000+05:30

This post is specially for ma frnd ankit. He is a man of great BHASHARATPUR,altough it was a typicall goan type name but still he always said that first "h "is silent in the name( plz pronounce it with "h" and without "h") it is a place just like our favorite CHAUMSBERG where on national highways hardly two bikes can travel in parallel and where still people prefer LOTA in morning than TOILET.

Well he is cute innocent and a chocolaty type boy with guts and balls......oops sorry its not balls its FOOTBALL but unfortunately with a dirty mind . I know u dont beleive me but who can almost raped a girl who takes tutions from him during his coaching times and more after who dare to search for balls in a girl's jeans while watching the movie MURDER with her in the darkness of theater and more intrestingly she was his neighbour in Gorakhpur ( who khows aur kya kya khel kiya hoga us bechaari k saath ). He is an experianced guy of RED LIGHT (what a short cut yaar ) .He is a real asshole.

He is a man who is a chain of disgusting activities or totally insane, He loves the "transy suit" ( real word is missing) of ANNI and (-) (-) of our lady chemistry teacher , skin of RASSAGULLA and......i cant discribe any more bcoz it consists some sizzling part of female community , u can imagine his HAWAS by that ki sote samay bhi LAAR tapakti rehti hai.He is a man with HYDRO SEAL.

Overall he is such a great personality with a very soft heart but as he himself admit that his sexual orientation has been changed so now he is planning for silicon implantation for some curves.... (ohhhh yaaa 34-B it is his fav no and it is not a shoe no)......now m running out of words to discribe him more but talking abt him is sometimes so worthfull specially for lady lovers.

STRUGGLING streets OF love

2010-04-20T23:41:00.000+05:30

It was a story of the time when drinking referred as coffee or tea and smoking was hidden unreal dream of mine.where bunking the classes is the one of the most daring task and enjoyment means a canteen party. It was a time of ma first year. It was the year when i had done nothing except NEERVI .

She was the first crush of mine in college but who knows that ma other closest frnds also have the same crush.It was just like as a line in front of a ration shop . But one of ma senior suggested me once that its better to choose a girl than ur frnd. so i planned to remove all ma frnds frm line rather than to impress her.It tooks a complete one sem but the 2nd sem was mine when i have no rival on competetion.

One of ma Love guru once said that in the theory of "patana-satana-hatana" patana was the most easy task but unfortunately i was failed in this part. During ma second sem as she was ma practical partner we spent atleast 12 hr a week sitting just next to each other hardly 2 cm away. It was a memorable time when she leaned totally on me during dark room practical, some of her sensitive parts were generating a wave inside ma manhood.I really like her specially in her transy suit.She always used to crash her node to sit besides me during every computer laband Even I was ragged inhumanly many times by one of our senior ATUL MANISHI just bcoz of her.

The unsaid commitment can b seen frm both side when i used to catch the train frm Kanpur instead of Lucknow just to meet her and she used to catch the train at 2.30 mid night just to complete the promise to attend the physics lab together.I had to pay 700 for a 300 college shirt just bcoz she said that it was a nice shirt and suits u.But still i thought that all is just a frndship.But that sucking electrical lab when she told me that she knows everything. Everything means abt ma crush in clg, ma efforts for it, ma attempts to talk with her and more specifically she knows, all that is for her only.

I was so famous bcoz of her that once i received a phone call frm her home town by one of her so called ASHIK named UMANG he warn me to stay away frm her and said that she was her GF. After that the sms round was started on ma cell phone it was all bullshit road chaap PYAAR WALI SHAAYRI sended by her another ASHIK who claimed that she gave him this no and said that it activated only when she was in clg. Ma no was aired in whole JAAT's city .sorry for this rude but yet impressive word.

She now became totally mystry for me with lots of affair cases which were proved right when one of her class mates joined our clg as ma jounier.But still i want her bcoz only the bad girls can take u anywhere, I proposed her but it was a shocking, all bullshit for me that she refused. I cant understand the reason than one of ma favourite senior suggested to me that "Only a whore can accept ur proposal in single attempt". so try untill she said yes. But i cant bcoz firstly it was a men's ego and secomndly i believed in BUS STOP theory....one gone than another must come.

LooSE CONtroL

2010-04-20T03:07:00.000+05:30

Some times in life we got the things which we desire most but in a very tragic manner and even at a time when u r not ready and unable to react.This was a story of a girl named Vertika from lucknow. She was doing LAW from lucknow university. It was a daring task to have a relation with a girl whose one of the teaching faculty is your elder brother. I took the risk to see some flying colours.

Everything was going like a normal love story. Long chats, telephonic conversation, oral love making , future plannings and all.It was like "Sazan mera us paar hai ...milne ko dil bekaraar hai " so as with me whenever i got the time i called her even in the mean time from ma clg to hostel journey in lunch time. i had to charge ma cell phone thrice in a day , top up bills sucked ma entire pocket money, it was a min of 6-8 hrs talk in a day , if i devote that much time in ma studies than surely i will get IIM in CAT but some curves in women are more intresting than IIM.

It was ma first date with her in Lucknow ,It was her birthday ,she bunked her classes, I was pretty exited but suddenly all ma dreams were broken down when i saw that she came with her friend PRIYA.Although priya is more hotter than Vertika but still cuteness is something that gives Vertika an upperhand. Some how i managed to talk some private talks in presence of PRIYA. but again a new tragedy arises when she had a call frm her home to b there urgently . We have to leave the restra. It was the first time when i really wanna to abuse her brother..

During our way her frnd met with an accident and she got some scratches on her knee. Like wise any other silly girl she fumbeled and refuse to drive any more so i have to take her home.Now i thought of maself was just like a player who made 90 runs but still unable to make next 10 to complete his century I have to say good bye to ma love VERTIKA for this dramatic girl PRIYA. I feel so sucked on ma date.Still i have some hope to meet her in the evening before ma leaving to mathura.

But today i m more luckier than even i can think. PRIYA's family was out of town she is alone in the house. I done the first aid for her than a coffee round was started with a slow music on system. we talk for a time and suddenly her talks turned emotional.I dont know whats the reason behind this wether her injury or music or least probably me. what can i do better than to console her but who knows that it this consolation was just the starting. I lost ma controls , m helpless and had done something which i want to expect from VERTIKA I realised that some times to open the cap of a milk bottle is more pleasurous than to drink it, First time i felt that my hands can move faster than anything, after the session of 15 min i realized that it was wrong and some how i managed and control ma self to do some big things( u know what big things means when a girl and boy were sitting alone in home). It was the most difficult situation to stop urself doing for what , what u r waiting for past 20 years.

We both Still i m confused that whatever i had done on that day was right or it was a mistake to b stepped back and after ma strong thinking i finally got the result that do as u think right but tell it to everybody accordingly, tell them what they want to hear.

Love...LABOUR...... LOST

2010-04-11T00:58:00.000+05:30

Love stories, that fascinates most of the peoples and while reading those they expect that " kaash mai hota hero ki jagah". but it is one of the herculean task to be implemented. During ma engineering I saw many types of love like physical love, telephonic love, love via sms(Patel) , love via gtalk (manish)and most famous one sided love(ankit vaibhav). But only some one of us get the complete package of it. This was a story of a girl named SHRUTI. she was the liver of Delhi and dont know why i started liking Delhi more than ma hometown , she was a CS engineer .

Most important fact abt shruti is that her father has a software industry in London and she is the only daughter of his so it was like a movie STYLE where hero does only a gud thing in his whole life to make a gf that worth millions.i don't want loose the life time opportunity but one of the love guru of ma collage once said that only the china made things can be founded easily but they don't have any guarantee so as with love. But this girl factor or her family background made me blind and i started living in wonderland where u fix her pic as a computer wallpaper, u start having hanky in your pocket and more specifically u start avoiding abusive language and start taking less alcohol than previous.

Everything is going in its full flow but prob arises when i went to met her. It was a betrayal with me she ditch me she didn't came. I felt bad but worried more bcoz i have to answer ma mates about ma so called date who are more intrested in ma betrayal story than ma date,the situation came like " ab aaya oont pahad k neeche"and no body is in mood to forgive me.

After two days again we started talking with each other but this time m talking with ma mind than ma heart. now i have a very diplomatic answer of every question. this time it was me who made the things as before bcoz i wanna know who was playing pranks I tried so hard but i failed. i stopped talking with her ,deleted her frm ma orkut and gtalk.that was the best thing i can do to prevent me from any more embarrasment.

But wo kehte hai na ki sayana kutta "" khata hai. that was the case with me after 3 days she called me and it was a total bullshit with me. she was not fake . Everything that she told me earlier was true and now she dont want any relation with me. It was a break-up call.Now i cant find earth below ma feet it was a totally a KLPD like situation with me. That was a call that cost me millions . i have missed the opportunity to be a NRI . I will find another girl but how can i manage the millions.

Many Idiots

2010-04-06T22:26:00.000+05:30

We r just like the next 13 lacks of upcoming graduates of this year but we are not like just " A Common Man" of movie A WEDNESDAY. We have something that makes us different from all and i don't know whether this difference is worth full or not.

A famous indian myth said that all the R & D and designing of humans beings was done by Lord BRAHMA but we r those whom are created by Lord SHIV because we have taken the zahar to the next level. ZAHAR , don't go for its literal meaning its a quality by virtue of which u can frustrate someone and compelled him to surrender in front of u.

we is counted as common noun so it doesn't have any specific name but we have. Its a WHITE STICK , we love this name and proud on it until only our parents knows about it because if they know what it means than we never know when will we go back home again.

We show different moods of Lord SHIVA while creating us. he might be very hungry while creating anna, he might b thinking of his wife while creating ankit mishra but suddenly his hand shakes and some of parts missed( u know which part) frm his body and it became a boy ,he must made Mangal during his TAANDAV , he might have created sumit while thinking of his older age and after creating we all he wanna to take revenge from us so he created pd to punish us all.

In our collage life we have learned alot but unfortunately nothing was mentioned in the our syllabi, we had learned all the things that we were not supposed to learn and never done the the things for that we are here for.we spend more time on dhaba than to lecture hall.people warry for the exams but we warry from NAVRAATRI ( 9 continuous dry day).we never spend sleepless nights during exams bcoz one of our visionary frnd Yogi once said that " Agar subah ka padha subah likh diya jaye to kabhi galat nhi hota". Ultimately from Engineers we became a multidimesional persons.M personally writing this blog to show that even I can do this and more specifically to make fuss of some of ma mates.